Why worry
by Kory Anders
Summary: Written in the P.O.V of Lily Evans from Halloween 6th year until her death. This is more interesting than it sounds. CHAPTER 6 IS UP!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer; I don't own, nor will ever own Harry Potter and co. The plot, Jillian Matthews, Drusilla Wayne belong to me. Or anyone else you don't recognize.  
  
Why Worry?  
  
Chapter one: God must hate me  
  
I, Lily Evans sat in advanced charms eyes fixed on Professor Flitwick. I feel a little sick. Then I hear four laughing voices; I don't need to turn to know that it's Potter and the other marauders.  
  
Admittedly in third and fourth year I'd crushed on James. But you see he had rejected me, one of my friends in Ravenclaw dared me to ask him out. I was unfortunately feeling daring and accomplished that dare. He said no.  
  
It took her a year or so to get over him. Then he started to like me. I sneezed. The four started to laugh. I spun around and whisper coldly "what is so funny?"  
  
James stopped laughing "You're sneeze is retarded." he said this seriously.  
  
My emerald eyes attempted to glare. "Ass" I muttered.  
  
"Now. Now Evans we shouldn't use that kind of language." He raises his eyebrows.  
  
James Potter is a six foot three punk. No this is not an exaggeration. With his messy curly raven hair and hazel eyes covered by glasses. He wore chains on his school robes and on weekends he wore punkish clothes.  
  
Sirius Black was six feet and wore his hair short. Remus isn't as bad he has the sweetheart thing going on, but he's still pretty punk. He has brown hair dyed red on the top with gray eyes. Peter just wants to be punk, he instigates the problems but the guys still like him.  
  
The bell rings. I practically run out of the room nearly colliding with Jillian Matthews my best friend, one of them at least. "Lilykins!" she cries. I smile.  
  
"Jill-bean!" We hug. Nobody stares because they're all used to this ritual.  
  
Jillian has mid-neck length curly brown hair. Her eyes look like chocolate. She's five sevinish. And is my other half, the best friend who balances me out. I look at her.  
  
"Jill do I sneeze funny?" I try my best to sound innocent.  
  
"Who told you that? Did Potter tell you that? I'll kill the jerk." She declares as we enter the common room.  
  
"Yeah." I respond  
  
"You know he's just acting because you're the only girl who's ever rejected his Pottery charms." I laugh.  
  
"I suppose you're right." I respond.  
  
"'Course I am, when am I not?"  
  
"Are we having a when is Jillian conversation without me?" another voice enters.  
  
"Hey Dru, yeah we were just saying how perfect I am." Jill answers.  
  
Drusilla walked down the stairs. She's about five nine, shoulder length brown hair highlit blonde. She has green-brown eyes, when she's mad they turn red. The marauders fear her.  
  
Potter and crew walk in. "God must hate me." I state sulkily.  
  
"Lets get some food." Jillian suggests. We agree and walk towards the exit. Potter and Black put their arms out to stop us. I look up and blink at him.  
  
"What do you want this time Potter?" I ask droningly.  
  
"Hmm?" He's looking down at me. I try to move his arm, which supports a large palm with monkey hands attached.  
  
"Move." I demand. Black laughs, Lupin smiles, Pettigrew laughs obnoxiously. I glare.  
  
"Or what Evans." He looks cocky. I probed into his head a gift I've had since I was a baby. Cheerful that's how he felt.  
  
Apparently Dru was bored; she flicked her hand and their hands parted. Once upon a fifth year, the marauders put a potion in our drinks. It was supposed to dye our hair green but apparently they let Black brew it and he mixed up the ingredients wrong. Leaving us with a weak part of psychokinesis.  
  
We exit. I sneeze. "Sweetie maybe you should see Pomphrey about that sneeze."  
  
I shake my head violently; under absolutely no circumstances will I miss lessons.  
  
*"Hahaha! FEED ME!" she growls once we'd made our way into the Great Hall. She glares down at the plate in front of her and yelled (apparently to the House elves), "Gimme some food, you dirty little bastards, or I'll come down there and turn you all pink!" then she began drumming out an annoying tune with her cutlery. *  
  
"Jilly-bean, house elves have many rights too." I reply to her comment.  
  
The marauders turn up hearing her comment Sirius speaks up, "Jamie, why does Jillian get to turn the house elves pink? Can I turn the house elves pink?"  
  
"No one's turning anyone pink, at least not with Lils around." Dru tells them. I smack her upside the head. Potter came and sat next to me, casually putting an arm around my shoulder. I feel my face glow a bright red.  
  
"What do you want Potter?" I ask.  
  
"I thought it was obvious." He whispers, hot breath hitting my ear. I felt myself turn the color of blood.  
  
"Remove your arm now." I feel my temper rise.  
  
He does as I ask, looking and feeling disappointed. Serves him right. Hitting on me, he has no right.  
  
"Lily are you going to eat that?" Jill points to a piece of chicken. I shake my head picking up a biscuit. Everyone carries on in conversation, except Potter and myself. I have no idea why I don't join in but I don't. Potter's staring at me, possibly cause I rejected him.  
  
Tomorrow's Halloween we're going to Hogsmede. I can't wait; I love the taste of butterbeer in my belly.  
  
End Chapter one  
  
Hi All! Everything in the * thingies belongs to Healer Ariel in 15yearoldbadboys. It's a funny story and I hope she doesn't get mad at me for using it. But it reminded me of Jillian. I've been writing this in my Language arts notebook. Update is expected soon Please review 


	2. Rhythms

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except the plot, and anything else you don't recognize!  
  
Chapter two: Rhythms  
  
My alarm went off. 9:30 I groan, climb of if you want to get technical stumble out of bed left eye half open right fully. I get to Jillian's bed "Jillie it's time to wake up." I nudge her.  
  
"Five more minutes Lil." She whines.  
  
"Jillian Marie Matthews, get out of bed this instant." Cue mother voice.  
  
"Lily!" she jumps out of bed quickly, see I have the most motherly attitude in the group. Unless influenced by any type of sugar of caffeine. So I kind of scare them with my mommy voice.  
  
I move to Dru's bed "Dru? It's time to wake up and greet the sunshine!" I poke her.  
  
"I'm up I swear." Dru states sleepily.  
  
"Drusilla Irene Wayne, wake up now or I'll take this chocolate frog on your nightstand." Dru shot up and has a threatening look on her face.  
  
"Touch the frog and you'll die Evans."  
  
I laugh, "Come on Starfire we have to get to the hall." Her nickname is Starfire because she loves stars and is a pyro.  
  
"Hogsmede today right?" Jill asks from the lavatory.  
  
"Yes." I answer slipping into a pair of jeans. Our other roomies are already up thus we needn't worry about changing.  
  
"What do you think of this?" Jill walks out in a purple crop top.  
  
"It looks fine." Dru answers irritably. She puts on a red tank top.  
  
I'm in a pair of dark blue flares and a navy-blue concert tee shirt. Then I pull a black the Clash hoodie over it.  
  
Potter calls me a poser I'll whip him into shape. Just because I'm not a 'punk' doesn't mean that I can't listen to the music or wear the shirts. I yawn then sneeze. Dru comes out of the bathroom closely followed by Jill. "Are you sure about the Pomphrey thing?" Dru asks.  
  
"It'll go. It always goes." I state walking to the dresser. I put my hair up. That is the best feature I possess. My hair, not my eyes. I loathe them all green and bright. But my hair is a crimsonish mahogany color.  
  
My skin has many flaws make up covers that though. My boobs are pretty big compared to other peoples. I read a lot, and I enjoy writing. Never am I found without a book and/or a pen and paper.  
  
We walk down to the great hall. We're eating waffles this fine morning. Potter is being his retarded self and applying peanut butter to the waffles. Jill has tried this with pancakes.  
  
Rapture there are only three seats open next to the marauders. I hate my life. Jill and Dru take the seats next to each other, leaving me next to Potter. This is the day I will die. "Hey Evans" he says.  
  
I look at him eyebrow arched. "Potter you disgust me." I mutter. Lupin laughs; he's the only nice Marauder. I live across the street from him and attend Sunday school with him.  
  
"Lily I'm reading this great Star Wars book. When I'm done do ya wanna read it?"  
  
"Sure Remus" I smile. He's son nice. Jill's livid. She wants him so bad.  
  
I reach for some toast. "Evans are you mad at me?"  
  
I roll my eyes "You anger me."  
  
"Why flower?" He asks, eyes pleading.  
  
"Shut up Potter" I mutter playfully.  
  
After breakfast we walk out to the doors. Dru and Potter were planning on sharing a carriage and meeting up in three broomsticks. Mr. Filch is at the door checking off names. He glares as the Marauders walk by.  
  
We get to the carriage we want. The scary horse or a theratal is staring at me. I saw my grandpa die when I was young. James offers his hand to help me in. I look at it suspiciously then accept it. Mind you that was not a truce, just a help to get me in.  
  
He doesn't let go of my hand. His is about twice the size of mine and is about twice as warm. I let go. Jill gives me this 'ha ha look' I glare. We make small talk about Quidditch.  
  
The carriage stops. October wind nips my ears; it's such a cold month. I shiver. Then I make a decision to go to the bookstore. "Lil! Where are you going!?" Dru yells to me. "Books." I state simply. Potter rolls his eyes at me. I know Dru and Jill will follow Sirius and Remus. Peter 'll follow them. I get half way there when I hear footsteps behind me.. I turn.  
  
"Hey Lily." Potter. Since when are we on a first name basis?  
  
"Potter."  
  
"The names James if you don't mind." I glare at him. "So-"  
  
"Why are you following me?" I snap.  
  
"Nobody should be alone during these times. Even a stubborn bitch like you." I turn and look up at him, eyes narrowed.  
  
"You have no right to speak to me like that James Potter." I growl.  
  
"Lily if you were nicer to me maybe I wouldn't have to do these things to get your attention."  
  
"Just don't speak t me ok?" I tell him.  
  
"Any time." He replies coldly. He's still following me. "Lily."  
  
"Yes?" I look him in the eye.  
  
"Even if you hate me. Nobody should be alone when he's rising." His voice is near a whisper.  
  
"Thanks." I reply. Voldemort's been rising in power. There've been warnings all over the prophet. Muggle borns all over have been hurt and or killed by his "death eaters." And having James here makes me feel safe.  
  
The chime on the door rings. I smell the paper. I'm weird like that. I open books and take in the scent, people too. After twenty minutes of browsing, I decide on three books, pay and Potter follows me out.  
  
"Are you hungry?" he asks me.  
  
"I will be if we start walking to the three broomsticks now." I reply. It's odd; the fact that James is himself in danger for me changes my attitude towards him. Possibly hope that he's changed.  
  
Hope dashed.  
  
He's flirting with Erin Flume! She's possibly the most popular girl on the planet. I feel this thing in my abdomen. Like I'm jealous or something. I'm not. My foot's tapping impatiently I wait. I think two seconds is long enough.  
  
"James we need to meet up at Three Broomsticks with everyone. Remember?" He snaps back to me. Then says goodbye. To me that is, and takes Erin somewhere.  
  
Why do I feel thirteen again? Rejected, jealous and stuff. Wait. Since when does it matter to me what James Potter does. I'm in front of The Three Broomsticks. I walk in and see the others. I take a seat next to Black. Jill, Dru and Remus notice something's wrong.  
  
"Lily what's wrong?" Remus asks. I shake my head to mean nothing.  
  
"You're lying." Dru tells me. 'Duh Dru but I'm not about to tell you if I don't know'  
  
"Where's Prongs?" Black asks.  
  
"Not with me that's for sure." I mutter.  
  
"I need to use the lavatories." Jill states, and pulls Dru and myself along. We enter the loos.  
  
"Lil is this what I think it's about?" Dru asks.  
  
"No." I declare. I feel my ears heating.  
  
"You lie!" Jill cries. "What happened?"  
  
"I don't know! One minute I was mucho pissy at him. Then he practically told me that he would die for my safety. Next Erin Flume comes along and takes him away." I realize what I've just said and clamp my hand over my mouth.  
  
Jill looks on the verge of cardiac arrest. Dru may have a seizure "Lil do you like James?" she asks.  
  
"I don't know"  
  
"We need some chocolate and butterbeer. Jill tells me linking an arm through mine Dru does the same to my other arm. We exit and see the table has two new additions. James and Erin. Dru's clutching her wand.  
  
"Oh hi girls." He greets.  
  
"Potter."  
  
"Lily what did we say? My names James." He has a lot of nerve. He's lucky that I acknowledge the fact that he's here.  
  
"Hello Lily." Erin speaks, clinging to his arm. I try to look neutral. The key word is try.  
  
"I think we should go back to the school." I tell Jill and Dru. We walk out and I remember I want some butterbeer.  
  
"They'll probably serve it at the feast." Jill reassures me.  
  
A/N: End chapter two. I'll try to post chapter three soon. Time to acknowledge the reviews. Which to say the least I'm pleased with.  
  
loser-me-ushi: I'd love to do that! I'll try to i/m you. Keep reading  
  
theantisocials: I try to base the events on parts of my life, and people on people I know. I'm working on keeping it that way.  
  
Jamesflower: Wow thanks! I feel so special. Keep reviewing  
  
Elora Danin: Thanks a bunch! The guys are like that because that's how I imaging them to be. Shrugs come seventh year, they'll be less egoistic, but I can't say they don't think they're all that.  
  
Does anybody know how to make things bold and italicize? I'm using Microsoft word and it won't do that for me. Thanks keep reviewing. 


	3. introduction to distruction

Disclaimer: anything you recognize I don't own. The rest belongs to me!  
  
P.s. I need a beta reader if anyone's interested. So um. Yeah. Tell me in your review.  
  
Chapter three: Introduction To Destruction  
  
This cannot be happening. I can't possibly like James Potter. "Jill!" A voice shouts. Jill and Dru and I turn at the same time. It's one of Potter's younger brothers Isaac.  
  
"Hi Isaac." I say.  
  
"Do you know where Jess is?"  
  
"Last time we saw him was in Honeydukes." Jill says.  
  
"OK. By the way Lily do you feel ok?"  
  
"Fine Zac, good luck finding Jess."  
  
We part ways. Jill's giving me the you're keeping something from us look. We get to the portrait and Dru says the password (trick or treat) then we enter. First years and second years are everywhere.  
  
I start to gnaw on my thumbnail, a nervous habit. Jill looked at me with an attempt to arch the brow. "Nervous about something Lil?"  
  
I jump, "I think I do fancy James." I whispered.  
  
"Obviously." Dru replied rolling her eyes.  
  
We walk up the stairs to the dormitory. The feast doesn't start for another hour. "I'm not allowed to fancy him," I pout burrowing under my blankets.  
  
"Why not? He's handsome enough, plus like you said he would die to save you." Jill debates.  
  
"Because." I state simply, "I hate him"  
  
"But you love him!" Dru yells from the loo.  
  
"Who says its love?" I ask intrigued.  
  
"Nobody." She shrugs coming into the room; "but that's what it'll turn into."  
  
"No way will that happen! I swear to you that I won't fall for James Potter." I declare.  
  
"Lil come on! Any other girl who goes with him falls in love and" Jill's cut off because our other roommates walk in Cassie Bear and Miranda Kennerty.  
  
"Did you see James and Erin? They look so cute together." Cassie says to Miranda.  
  
"I thought James liked someone else." Miranda tells Cassie her tone is so confused.  
  
"Well thankfully he got over the little mudblood." Dru lunges at Cassie. Jill and I catch her before any damage is done.  
  
"Oh. We didn't notice you there." Cassie shrugs, "Sorry." She and Miranda walk out.  
  
"He's over me." I whisper, my voice is shaky.  
  
"You knew that was coming." Jill shakes her head at me. "It's like some unwritten rule. Every time you like a guy who likes you. He stops liking you leaving you pining." She finishes dramatically. I rest my head on the pillow and hug Attila my stuffed pink bunny. Jill cringes; I hate bunnies."  
  
"You don't hate anything." I tell her.  
  
"Bunnies frighten me." She declares indignantly.  
  
Dru gives her a dirty look "Bunnies worship the ground I walk on." She turns to me, "supper?"  
  
"Too cold." I shake my head. But climb out of bed anyway and down to the hall. Jill's merrily humming the monster mash, Dru's acting plain chipper noticing the candy around her. We walk to our spot. Remus walks over to me and hands me the book.  
  
"Here you go, and make sure paper eater over here doesn't eat it." He tells me motioning to Jill playfully.  
  
"No problem Remus. Thanks."  
  
"Remus bring your friends over here and sit with us!" Dru tells him. He chuckles then brings the Marauders over to our table along with Erin. She's groping all over James and I'll kill her.  
  
Professor Dumbldore stands up after our silent supper and every student in the hall minus a few Slytherins look at him. "Students I have an announcement to make." His voice is grave. I hug myself that tone's giving me chills. "As you know there is a dark wizard growing in power at this very moment. Today in Hogsmede a student has gone missing. This is his challenge to do battle. We have responded and will enter. All students sixth year and above may participate. Though they are warned of the dangers."  
  
Beside me I hear Jill take in a breath. "You may come to me and request that you join on November second so to not rush your decision. That is all." He ends his speech. I see Potter determination in his head; Cassie Bear has a triumphant look that just screams 'I did it!'  
  
"I'm going for it. That's just how it is" I tell Jill and Dru in our dorm twenty minutes later.  
  
"Like hell we're letting you. He'll go for you first." Dru tells me sensibly. There's a knock on our door. The three of us look at it; Dru stands up to get it. Low and behold it's the Marauders.  
  
"How'd you get up here?" I ask irritably.  
  
"Don't you know? Once you've invited by a resident of the one of the dorms up here they're free to come and go as they please." He tries to sound intellectual.  
  
"Are all of you signing up for the army?" Dru asks.  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus nodded, Sirius gives Peter a good whack in the ribs then he nods violently. "How about yourselves?" Remus asks.  
  
"All of us are." Jill answered. Oh boy James' mind is telling me that he's going to flip out.  
  
"What?" He shouts. Did I think angry rephrase that and make it on the line between mad and pissed.  
  
"I'm going for it." I reply calmly, but my blood is boiling.  
  
"I won't let you." He tells me stiffly.  
  
"You bloody arse! There's nothing you can do to stop me." I pause. "Why does it matter to you anyway? What I do that is"  
  
"He'll go for you first that's why."  
  
"But why does it matter to you?" I keep my voice calm.  
  
"Because!"  
  
"Maybe you should be worrying about Erin not me" somewhere along the last sentence I lost my temper. Dru and Jill are shocked.  
  
"Lily are you jealous?" he's completely dumbfounded.  
  
"You wish," I snarl.  
  
"Prongs give it up." Remus whispers. James stands up apparently still peeved. The rest of his little posse follows him out the door.  
  
"He has no right to tell me what I can and cannot do." I declare anger rising.  
  
"I know Lily." Dru pats my back  
  
"Maybe sleep is what we need to help us." Jill says in the most comforting tone I've ever heard her use.  
  
"Yeah" I agree laying down instantly asleep. I find no refuge in my dreams because they're all about Potter. Why does he affect me so?  
  
End chapter three:  
  
TABS08: here you go another update! Yay me!  
  
Tori Z. Daniels: I love you1 I bow down to you. Tori informed me on how to italicize words in her review for Before there were eight!  
  
Reviews are welcome. I don't like flames, Constructive criticism is appreciated! 


	4. El tango De Roxanne

Disclaimer: I'm borrowing the characters you recognize. I own the ones you don't. Still waiting for a Beta reader.  
  
Chapter four: El tango de Roxanne  
  
I wake up to a glorious day. Joy, rapture. I hadn't gotten a good night's rest last night. Thanks to disturbing dreams involving myself Potter, Flume, and a chipmunk.  
  
Jill's feeling giddy this morning. "Good morning sunshine."  
  
"You're awfully chipper aren't you?" I question from under my comforter.  
  
"She's been at it all morning. You slept through the worst." Dru tells me taking a sip of coffee.  
  
"She was worse than this?" I ask not disbelievingly  
  
"She cleaned." Dru nods, "the entire dorm. Plus side; she scared away Bear and Kennerty." She shrugged  
  
"He said yes!" she squealed jumping on my bed.  
  
"Who? Remus?"  
  
"No the king of America! Of course Remus."  
  
"There is no king in America." Dru tells her  
  
"Beside the point."  
  
"Yay you!" I declare hugging her. "Now can I go back to sleep?"  
  
"No silly, we're attending breakfast with him and his friends."  
  
"Great I dream of Potter now the first male I see in the morning is Potter!"  
  
"I thought you liked him? Wouldn't that be a good thing?" Dru asks.  
  
"I do but I hate him at the same time you know?"  
  
"Yeah I suppose." Dru shrugs.  
  
"Come on!" Jill yells she jumps enthusiastically  
  
"We're eating breakfast together?" Drusilla asks. She runs a black brush through her hair.  
  
"Apparently so." I respond leaving my lips in the o position for a few seconds. Jill remained hyper and pulls the both of us out to the common room. Remus is standing waiting for Jill to come with us; Pettigrew is seated down and watching a game of exploding snap. Potter and Black are the competitors in that game.  
  
We enter the common room Remus offers his arm to Jill, he's such a gentleman. I wish all guys were so chivalrous. We enter the great hall and Erin walks over to James from her table. My eyes narrow Dru locks her arms around my shoulders. She knows me too well.  
  
Erin and James start to snog each other senseless. "There are those seated who would like to get their food down." I tell the two.  
  
"Jealous Evans?"  
  
He's doing this to get a rise out of me! The nerve of that arse. "No Potter I'm not. You seem to have a knack for assuming that though." I raise my eyebrows. He turns maroon, oh now purple.  
  
"James buddy are you ok?" Sirius asks.  
  
"Fine." James replies through clenched teeth. Apparently he's never been told off like that. We all stand and walk to potions. He's mad at me, very mad. We enter the dungeons I sit next to Dru. Jill is by Remus, and James is next to Sirius.  
  
I start to chop the mandrake root. "Lily calm down"  
  
I stay clam for the rest of the class. When we get to Dinner later, James is snogging Erin badly. "Her eyes upon his face." Jill whispers  
  
"Her hand upon his hand." Dru adds in catching the hint.  
  
"Her lips caress his skin" Jill says in the same voice  
  
"It's more than I can stand." I finish. A little louder than the others. "Potter cut it out!" I shout. He continues but gets more engrossed.  
  
"Don't worry Lils he'll dump her soon." Remus comforts me gently.  
  
"Why do I worry?" I ask.  
  
"Because you're our mummy" Dru replies.  
  
"Right." I reply nodding my head.  
  
"Tomorrow are sign ups." Sirius changes the subject.  
  
"Yeah" Peter nods eagerly.  
  
"That's nice" I reply dazed.  
  
"What 'cha thinking about?" Sirius asks.  
  
"Not a thing." I reply; okay not quite the truth. I'm thinking about James could he ever possibly like me?  
  
"Hey guys." James walks over, lips swollen and hair tossed. He has no pride. Everyone acknowledges him with a hello. Everyone except me that is, "Evans are you ok?" he asks mock concern  
  
My eyes narrow and before I knew it I had picked up the goblet and poured it over Potter's head. He shivers and runs an ape hand through his hair. My eyes are still narrow and they challenge him to say another thing.  
  
"All right then, I'll that as a yes." He replies. I 'Erg' and storm off in an angry rage. Then I enter the dorm and fall on my bed 'Even if he does ask me out I don't think I could handle dating him.' Then I fall in a content sleep. I dream of The El Tango that we were singing earlier.  
  
A/N: end chapter four still waiting for a beta to help me! I don't own El Tango De Roxanne or Harry Potter thanks to:  
  
Prisoner-of- Shadows: I like the name too. Thanks for reviewing  
  
Cinnamon surprise: My first fic told fro first person present tense so yeah it's pretty screwed up.  
  
Keep reviewing 


	5. overprotected

Why Worry Chapter 5: Over protected 

            No matter how much I hope that this day November 2nd wouldn't come, it has. Today I will decide my fate; join the order Dumbldore's forming, or back out and wonder what I could have done. I'm the first to rise; everything's so gloomy today. The sky's gray, the trees are bare. 

            Jill wakes up; she isn't a heavy sleeper "Morning Lil."

             "Morning." I greet less than chipper.

            "What's wrong?"

            "Shut up!" Kennerty shouts at us. 

            "Wake Dru up Jill." I whisper. I guess I follow the weather's mood.

            "Are we going to get in uniform?" they realize how many lives this day could change as well. I nod and slip the robes over my shoulders already in my skirt and vest. I clip my charm bracelet on. We walk down stairs Remus kisses Jill on the cheek. A smile forms on her face.

            "Lily can I talk to you?" James asks.

            "If you must." I say dismissively; I follow him to a couch near the window.

            "Are you still signing up?" he asks.

            "Yes." I reply avoiding his glance for fear I may turn red.

            "Lily I don't want you to." His eyes begging _He's worried_.

            "As I've asked you before; why do you care?"

            "Because I do."

            "And as I've told you when you reply like that; I can handle myself. You have a girlfriend worry about her!"

            "She can manage." He mutters dismissively 

            "And I can't?" I cry.

            "Lil that's not what I meant. What I meant was" But I didn't get to hear what he said.

            "What is it? Is it because I can't properly transfigure a hedgehog into a pincushion? Or maybe it's because I'm not of magical blood! I bet that's it. Oh poor Lily she won't be able to fight, she's just a dirty little." He cut me off.

            "Lily you know I don't think that." He isn't yelling, instead he's speaking softer. Why can't he yell and bring my temper back.

            "Do I really? How do I know that it isn't some sort of act?"

            "You have to trust me."

            "Trust you? The same man who put the dungbomb in Professor McGonagall's stew. I don't think so."

            "James!" another voice entered. We both turn to see Isaac Potter the youngest running our way. 

            "Go away Isaac the grown-up's are having a conversation." James tells his brother quickly. I feel bad for Isaac so I look at James and growl:

            "This conversation is over." I walk over to Jill, Dru and the Marauders. Then I'm pretty sure they followed me out to the Great hall. "Erg!" I cry. Dru proceeds to do the best friend thing: telling me that it's ok James is a jerk ECT.

            "Students." Dumbldore's voice echoed through the halls. Everyone takes that as his or her clue to walk and sigh the sheet. I follow the suit.

            James stands in front of me "what are you doing?" I hiss.

            "Stopping you," he replies coolly.

            "You can't stop me! I won't let you!" I declare moving faster.

            "Flower I'm worried about you."

            "Don't you start this _Flower _nonsense with me James Harry Potter I won't stand for it. Why are you worrying for me anyway?"

            "Because I am."

            "God you're so protective of me. I don't need it either." I declare trying to sound independent but my brain was saying: _Save me. Protect me. Hold me. _ 

            "That's because you don't use your common sense!" 

            "Since when do you _have_ common sense?" I shoot back.

            "When it comes to you I do!" he fires.

            "Why me? Why not the Marauders or Erin?" I think I already know though.

            "Because they know what they're doing." My mouth opens "You do too but I-I- Oh I don't know what!" he cries in frustration.

            I reach the sheet and write **_Lily Evans_** neat and bold just the way I like it. My eyes remain on the paper as James is signing his name sloppily. We turn and walk back to the table. I try to match his long casual strides with short quick steps. I fail because he beat me to the table.

            I put some cider in my goblet; apple cider not pumpkin juice. James tosses his hair around for a few seconds removing it of the once partially neat look. Then he stares at me; I feel them looking into my mind. He feels strongly about something that's making my stomach feel warm, and fuzzy. 

            _Warm and fuzzy; where have I heard that term before?_ I sit and think for a few moments. I kick Jill in the shin; she grimaces and shoots me a sharp look. 'What?' she mouths. 

'Warm and fuzzy.' I reply. 

'Love.' She responds.

_Love? James was in love with Erin! How could I ever think that he liked me? _

'Not her you!' Dru mouths urgently as if she read my mind.

_Me? My ass he likes me; all he does is poke at me and protect me._ My mouth opens in realization. Soon that O forms into a grin. _But will he tell me?_ I look over at him as he laughs with Sirius, Remus and Peter. _He's still going out with Erin; damn! _

            "We'd better get to Defense against the dark arts." I say picking up my books quickly. Suddenly I want to leave fast so I do, coolly, but quickly me legs carry me out of the Hall. Dru and Jill aren't following me I enter the Defense against the dark arts room and lean against the wall. 

            "Ms. Evans why aren't you in the Hall eating breakfast?" Professor King asks me.

"I'm not hungry." I reply changing the subject I ask; "need help with anything?"

"No thanks Lily." He smiles as everyone else walks in the room. "Students today we'll be learning about the Pogrebin. Can anyone tell me what this is?" Professor King asks; "Mr. Black."

"A Russian demon that stalks you and gives you a dreaded feeling and attacks you at the weakest point in the time that it follows you. It's east to destroy though." He shrugs off the rest of his answer.

"Very good, five points to Gryffindor." Mr. King goes on to explain the new beast; I pay no mind, I pass this class with top marks every year. The one I worry about is Transfiguration; possibly because of the aforementioned fight I cant change anything worth my life.

            The bell rings after fifty-six minutes I stand up after Jill she links arms with Remus and they walk out. I gather all my books then I walk out in the hall to Ancient Runes; gnawing on my inner cheek with my teeth. Somebody taps me on the shoulder. I spin and see James.

            "What?" my patience is wearing thin with him.

            "Are you mad about the whole um." He's lacking words; "the sign up thing in the hall earlier?"

            I try to compose myself to look taller; "why would I be? I won didn't I?"

            "I just feel like you're mad; like on the verge of murder." He clarifies hopefully as though he's figured it out.

            "Depends on who's going to be murdered." I arch a brow cautiously with a smirk.

            "Very funny." Some of his hair falls in his face making him look boyish and this makes me resist the urge to move the hair from his hazel eyes.  He pauses to think, yes ladies and gentlemen James Potter is thinking. "What do you think of Erin?"

            "Truth or lie?" I ask

            "Either."

            "She's great, I mean once you get past her cold exterior there's a whole bitch to look forward to." I smile as though I said something positive.

            "Is that why you're mad at me?"

            "James face it; before our friends started to date we had nothing to do with one another. So how would you know if I just don't have anything to say?" I ask.

            "Because I remember in fifth year; right after O.W.L.'s when we were all at the lake and Sirius and I decided to torture Snape. That was true anger your mouth got all-thin and you went off on us. Now when ever you're around Erin and me your mouth does the same thing."

            "Does not." I declare defensively sitting in my seat.

            "Lily I don't want you to be mad at me. If we're going to be friends then I honestly don't want you to hate me." He finishes. Truth be told his statement moves me.

            "What if I am mad at her?" I ask avoiding his stare.

            "Then I'll" he doesn't finish because the bell rings; my mouth opens:

            "James you're supposed to be in Divination not Ancient Runes." I whisper quickly. The professor is staring at him I bite my lip; "go to your class." He mutters sorry and bolts out of the room. I laugh to myself and start copying notes from the front board.

            Next I walk to transfiguration and take my seat in the middle of the room where I can act like I'm attentively taking notes when in actually I'm doodling. Sirius sits next to me; I raise my eyebrow at him. He smiles and waves like a dork.

            James tosses a note on my desk: _Meet me under the tree; you know which one, before lunch James. _Jill leans back in her chair and utters a 'hmmm…' "Shut up Jill" I mutter.

            "Class get your porcupines and start your spells." McGonagall tells all of us and sits at her desk. _Great_ I think to myself; _just great, I can't do the assignment, and I'm meeting James after class._ Could life get anymore odd?

A/n: yay! Done with chapter five woo-woo. Yeah Will Go Will. **Attempts happy dance**

Jamesflower: my new beta. Thanx for the reviews and putting me on the favorites list before all others.

Abluebird: sweetness! Hope ya like the chapter

Prisoner-of-shadows: Tillian thought of that one; she has the comedic sense of the two of us.

Mauraderbabe289: yep; Lily's the jealous one for a change. Here's your update!

Chocofaerie: in the name of chocolate cookies that is soo sweet! I guess It's an aries thing to babble a lot cause I do too. ( ; 

Reviews are appreciated 


	6. My Direction

**_Why Worry?_**

**_Chapter six: _****_My Direction_**

**__**

I exited transfiguration even more confused not only because if the note but also the whole transfiguration class in it self. So here I am possibly because I'm in like with Potter walking to the beech tree to talk to him. 

There he is. I take a deep breath and walk over to him. He jumps up from his spot and looks nervous. A large hand reaches for his hair and stops abruptly. I laugh at this gesture softly and sit under the tree.

"Hi." He greets with a grin. _He has a very nice grin._ The wind hits my back and I hug myself. "So about the whole Erin thing" he pauses. I assume he's lacking the right words. "I want to prove to you that I can be a good friend."

"Why do you want to prove this so bad?" I ask confused even though I think I already know. His eyes avoid mine.

"I want to start new." He smiles sincerely; "back to Erin if you want me to dump her I will." He looks like a puppy, like a baby chocolate lab staring up at me. 

_He'll break up with her at your command! _My brain yells at me _just say yes and the troubles are over. _ But when I open my mouth the words I expect don't come out "don't do that. The two of you like each other too much." I lie.

"But you're willing to be friends." He suggests offering an ape hand as a truce. The spiked bracelet shone brightly in the mid-day light. I shook his hand and felt a little tingle go through me. A mischievous look crosses my face as I grab the bracelet and race off with it.

The great hall is filled with students eating their meals. But the gentle conversations are broken as James and I race in to our table laughing jovially. We sit at the same time. "What just happened?" Sirius asks the others.

"It's a sign of the apocalypse." Dru looks up from her divination book momentarily. "A shy Aries with a temper the size of Neptune and a loud mouth Pieces become friends."

"Right" Sirius rolls his gray eyes at her. Erin walks over and kisses James. Remus, Jill, and Dru all look at me quickly to see my temper get into high gear. Instead I stand calmly and exit the room with an apple in hand and head up to the common room. 

Unfortunately I don't find the solitude I seek. Instead I find Selena Griener crying softly on the couch. A brief history on Selena; she moved from Drumstrang, Dru Jill and I befriended her. Then she became popular and we didn't talk because she moved into dorm 1 which is where the popular girls reside. Bear and Kennerty are of the lowest level: wannabes. So that's why they reside with us.

"Selena?" I ask probing into her brain. She feels alone mentally at least. 

"Lily! Oh god I didn't know anybody was here." She stands to leave, a very weird thing because she doesn't leave her spot for anybody.

"Nobody else is. What's wrong Selena?" I ask.

"Jubilee. She was all pay attention to me when I was talking to Mason, you know the Hufflepuff? And she got mad at me for not listening to her even though she doesn't listen to anybody else." I could tell she'd wanted to get this off her chest for a while so I sat quietly listening.

"There's always a spot in our dorm for you." I comfort rubbing her back.

"You three don't hate me?" she asks.

"Never have." Suddenly she hugs me. 

"Lily I missed you all so much! I'm sorry I abandoned you guys!" she whispers.

"We have class. Lets get moving." We stand and head to Charms. Dru sees us enter and hits Jill; she turns and gets big eyes.

"Selena? Since when do you hang with the lowest level of the food chain?" Jill asks.

"Jillian!"  I cry in shock.

"It's the truth. You know it Lils this girl hasn't talked to us in two years!" Jill accuses.

"Maybe it's because you guys simply acted like I didn't exist afterwards!"

"Ladies would you please sit down until the end of class." Professor Flitwick advises. All of us turn and take our rightful seats. "Well then can anybody show me the charm to summon a fairy?"

Remus raises his hand and replies. Five points are added to Gryffindor. Dru starts to chew on her pinky nail; Jill keeps shooting looks at Selena, Selena starts to get mad, and I'm on the verge of a twitchy eye.

Class ends slowly. I start to tap my foot. The bell rings we are dismissed from double Charms. Thank the Gods. "Jill, Dru, Selena dorm now." I command they nod agreeing. 

"Lily!" I turn and see Isaac Potter waving his arms.

"Look it's wee Potter." Jill declares.

"Lily my brother said to catch up to you. He said to tell you if you wanted to wear it all you had to do was ask." Isaac hands me the bracelet I stole earlier. "He also said to say that he's still sorry about earlier."

My hands are holding the bracelet gently. "Thanks Isaac." I whisper.

"Come on Juliet tell young Belthazar to tell Romeo that we're talking so don't come near our dorm." Dru starts to pull me away.

"Shut up." I mumble feeling my cheeks gaining the color of my bed hangings. Slowly we ascend up the stairs; there are about three hundred before we get to the door. "Home sweet home." I open the door.

"Hasn't changed much." Selena spoke happily then she flops on my bed. Jill still glares.

"Okay apparently we have issues between the four of us to discuss." I sigh exasperatedly. "So lets begin with Jill since she has the glaring issues."

"She hasn't attempted to talk with us for the past two years! You expect us to welcome her back with open arms? Are you insane?" Jill cries at me. "How do you know when the dorm one's welcome her back she won't go?" Jill yells.

Selena's voice cuts in "You are the best friends I could ever ask for! I don't know why I didn't notice it! I'm sorry!" Now I'm honestly freaked out, people who think I'm the stubborn one have never met Selena.

"I say we forgive and forget." Dru shrugs. Jill's still a dragon at this point. Her eyes are soft now clearly remembering the good times. She waves a ringed hand dismissively.

"I suppose you're right, and maybe I was over reacting a little." Jill remarks. I smile, together again. Now all I need is James and life 'll be perfect.

A/N: Hi, I just finished this chapter! School and extra curricular activities are leaving me less computer time. And now I'm at a block as to what to do. Any ideas tell me in the review!

Blazedsorceress: Thanx a bunch! If you spot the inconsistency let me know.

DIFFEN-DOOFER: I feel special.

Silly Lilly: My Beta-Reader! Thanx for the suggestions. I did mean like up there because she didn't want to believe she was in love so. Yeah

Review!


	7. Tiger Lily

_Why Worry?_

**_Chapter seven:_****_Tiger Lilly_**

**__**

            Here I sit. On my bed, pondering my nonexistent love life. I want something exciting to happen. Even an owl would be better than this depressing thing. Speak of the devil; a school owl has flown in. It snaps at me. Jill stirs from the bed next to mine. "What the bloody 'ell is that?"

            "It's just an owl Jill, go back to bed." I whisper as to not wake the others. She doesn't listen and walks to read over my shoulder. It's an invitation-__

            _Ms.'s Selena Cortez, Lily Evans, Jillian Matthews and Drusilla Wayne,_

_In accordance to the sheet, the four of you have signed up for the Order. Tomorrow night at Eight o' clock please go to the Ball Room on the fourth floor. This will be the first meeting and training for all members so please bring your wands. Do not discus this with anybody, for the eyes of spies could be lurking behind you._

_Cheers!_

_Albus Dumbldore _

            "Nice way to end a letter." Jill mutters before she lies down. She is soon asleep. I have the chills so I decide to go to the common room. Of course it can't be empty, God forbid. James is sitting on the chair mesmerized by the fire.

            I pause to wonder what basis I'm on with him now. Ah yes we're _friends_ _now_, how could I forget? He notices my presence. "Lily? Is that you?" he asks.

            "No." I mutter sarcastically. 

            "Oh, ok then sorry to bother you." He speaks so seriously. I think he's in a daze.

            "James you fool it is I Lily Evans." I say dramatically sitting on the ground near his feet.

            "Couldn't sleep either?" he asks. I nod suddenly feeling very bare in my tank and flannel bottoms. "The warmth of the fire ought to put the both of us to sleep right away." He tells me in a reassuring voice. How does he know the secrets of the fire? 

"Did you get a notice?" I ask him as I stare into his mysticalhazel eyes dreamily. He nods. I change the subject; "why can't you sleep tonight mister Potter?" I ask in mock aristocracy hinted in my voice.

"I couldn't close my eyes, too many thoughts to think." He replies; that sounds so wise coming from him. Creepy.

I move away from his legs and near the fire. My hands are freezing and my teeth are chattering. Jill and Dru always call me Jo like the sister from little women because I always get so close to the fire. I start to zone and think of him. "Be careful Little Flower you might get torched." I can tell he's smirking.

"I'm cold." I pout trying to perfect my Selena face. He laughs and looks at me. With _the _look. Not any old plain simple no problems look. _The _look! "What?" I ask touching my hair, I already know but I'm not about to tell him.

"Nothing" He shrugs it off carefully avoiding eye contact. Then he asks me "Aren't you tired?" I nod my head and stand up.  "Night Lily."

"Night." I reply smiling at him. I can tell he's smiling back, even if I can't see him. _Why can't I just tell him?_ I ask myself. _His girlfriend would kick your big arse all the way to Tuesday._

I lay under my blankets; I hear Jill's light breathing, Dru's light snores and Selena's mumbling. My teeth start to chatter and I night-dream about what it would be like if James wasn't going with Erin, if he hadn't left me alone on that day in October.

Let me tell you it was better than reality.

            The sun's bright this early Sunday morning. I feel someone prodding me. "What!" I cry.

            "Sweetie it's eleven. We were sure you died." Jill tells me as I burrow under the sheets. 

            "Well I didn't! So let me go back to sleep." 

            "Where were you last night anyway?" I hear Selena ask me. My face heats, my friends and I have some very demented minds.

            "In the common room with James." I reply.

            "Were you two?" She drifts off, with a suggestive look. But I know what she means.

            "We were talking, end of discussion." I debate and pop out of the covers 

            "Sure Lils, what ever." Selena tells me before walking into the toiletries.

            "Selena just because you would take him in a closet doesn't mean I would." I shout back at her. She pokes her head out and sticks her tongue out at me. I laugh and heave myself out of the cushy mattress. 

            We walk down stairs after the morning routine, "'Bout time sleepy head" Sirius shouts at me.

               "Shut up Siri, Lily had a long night." Selena shouts. I feel my ears redden. Sirius looks at me funny. 

            "I was up late. And don't give me that look you nymphomaniac." I shout.

            "Where?" James asks as he walks down the stairs. His hazel eyes are full of confusion I smile.

            "You and Lily? Who would've guessed?"  Peter asks.

            "What?" James says.

**__**

"You know James, the common room." Sirius nudges him. I roll my eyes.

            "Nothing happened." James clarifies to the guys. They seem to believe him, _thank the Gods._

            "Can we eat now?" Jill asks. Remus links arms with her and they walk out. I fiddle with my necklace when the rest of us walk out. Selena knows my ways apparently she mouths chill out.

            The hall smells good, like bacon. I see Jill stuffing her face with some potatoes. I sit across from her and pile some on my plate as well. Selena and Dru reach across and take some off my plate I laugh and grab a chocolate muffin.  

            Erin's coming this way; I think Dru noticed the hostile look that I feel coming across my face. She sits close to him. Too close in my opinion. She starts to grope him. I glare. Dru looks at me as if to say, **they're dating that's what dating people do**.

            I pout. Not in an adorable way like Selena would, or playfully like Jill. I pout in the way to say that I'm sad. Why though? I mean, never in my entire existence as a sixteen-year-old girl have I felt so many emotions in my life. Even as an empath, as in the one who feels the emotions of others!  

            I remain moody the rest of the day, snapping at anyone who crosses my path. Once or twice I snap at Jill for her incessant babble. Maybe I shouldn't attend the meeting tonight, my emotions may cause me to go crazy and kill someone with a Spork. 

**__**

In the end as I sit in the dorm I hear the door open as I leaf through the pages of a random book. Selena, Dru and Jill are in the doorway.  "Come on, we have to go to the meeting." Jill says. 

            "I'm not going."  I reply in monotone. Apparently they have different ideas for me because they are coming and are about to tie me up. I jump up. "Touch me with that and die, I'll come."

            Jill loses the look that crossed her face earlier and grinned. The smile must be contagious because I smile too. Together the four of us walk up to the fourth floor ballroom. It's relatively full, there's room enough for a two on two for students. The crystal chandelier is hung up higher than the doorframe and I feel small. Okay technically I am only five feet, that's beside the point.

            James is standing about six feet away. The four of us walk over to them. James offers me a sip of punch I take a small sip. Dumbldore stood on the make-do podium; planks of wood stacked up to give him height.

            "Students, " The room gets eerily quiet. James stares at me out of the corner of his eye. I give him a smile that says _you're being funny, but pay attention_. He obeys and we listen to Dumbldore's speech. "All of you have agreed to participate in what seems to be a war against the Dark Lord Voldemort. Today we will begin training. Now partner up"

            I blink dumbfounded, that's all; _find a partner_. James' deep voice cuts through my thought, more like my stupidity; "All right lets find ourselves some partners." The rest agree and we begin to look at one another. 

            "I'll go with Dru" Sirius says. Remus looks at Jill, leaving James and me. Fun. He looks down at me with an attractive smirk playing on his red lips. I hold back the smile threatening to cross my mouth and mutter:

            "Shut up." With a giggle we face one another. His hazel eyes lock with mine and my smile grows. _Why doesn't he get the picture that git! Put the puzzle together!_ My mind yells at him. He motions for me to come by him, I do.

            "I'm going to hit you with a levitation charm, but I want you to try to deflect it so that you're not up in the air." He explains. My eyes grow; he opened his mouth and began "Wing-"

            "James!" I yell, "That spell is for objects, not people!" He laughs uncomfortably at his mistake. I can't help but smile.

            "I knew that, now hold still I'll try a petrifying curse instead." The smile never leaves his pale face. I nod to show him that he should proceed. He raises the wand and shouts "Stupefy!" 

            I raise my wand to deflect, next to me I hear a noise, I spin and see a Ravenclaw twitching furiously. The impact of the spell hits my back I fall. 

            Thanks to my beta Silly Lily and please review


	8. Mad Life

D/C: I don't own Harry Potter and other characters. Drusilla Wayne, Jillian Matthews and Selena Cortez belong to me though

Why Worry 

**Chapter eight: Mad Life**

Its a mad life that we know   
still inside is beauty all around  
its a mad life that we know  
will we give it all away-

_Dishwalla "Mad Life"_

I wake in the hospital wing; the smell of sterilized objects fills my nose. Slowly I open my eyes. The marauders, Jill, Selena, and Dru are above me. Suddenly James's sent fills my nostrils as he wraps me in the tightest hug I've ever been a part of including the _Lily Sandwich_. 

            "Oxygen, need air!" I choke out; he releases me quickly and tosses his hair. 

            "Sorry." He mumbles. "I was just afraid that I had hurt you." His voice is so unsure. My head stays down but my eyes wander to his and I smile.

            "Nice little romantic moment, sorry to disturb, but did any of you see the Ravenclaw?" Sirius states. Dru nods and opens her mouth for an explanation:

            "According to the book Visions, it says that when the first vision takes place. You know like a premonition, the seer does do all the things that she did. Including the muttering" Dru's voice is very serious. 

            "Muttering?" Selena asks. Remus being the only smart one of the entire mob spoke up.

            "This isn't the best place to discuss this." He warns in a weary voice. The others and I agree and Selena goes to fetch Madam Pomphrey and tell her that I'm well again. I sit up in the uncomfortable bed the plastic and paper crumple beneath my body.

            Selena returns with news that I may return. I rise and clutch my head, I must've hit the floor when I got stunned "Bloody Hell" I groan. James looks at me and asks if I'm ok. I nod and continue walking.

            Jill says the password and we enter. "Come on we'll go to the boys dorm, it'll be easier to talk there, most fear to tread in our room." Peter says. We head to the 6th year boy's dormitories.

            The room is as expected a mess. Dirty socks and under shirts thrown about. That feeling that you get when you're in a messy room other than your own came over the four of us began to tidy up the room.

            "Stop it!" Sirius cries in protest. All of us glance up at him and obey. Selena sits on Sirius' bed; Dru joins her on the opposite side of him. Jillian sits on Remus' bed, Peter shuts the door and I join James on his bed. It's squishy; Peter sits on his own bed.

            "There was muttering?" I ask in a tone that resembles Sirius' on a normal day (confusion).

            "She was saying something about _darkness_, and if I heard right something about _a child of the light_." Dru's voice is filled with uncertainty. 

            "Why do I have a feeling that this means all night study session?" Selena asks. She is right this does mean study session, even if the holiday is two days away. I pull a piece of paper from my pocket and take a quill from James' nightstand.

            "Here's our schedule," I write out the lessons we have on the two days we have left. "We have a break between history of magic and charms," I draw a little black dot next to the two lessons.

            "What exactly are we looking for?" Peter asks.

            "Books on prophesy, prophets, seers or anything of that sort. Something that will give us a clue on what's going on." I explain. I continue marking up the paper and explaining until the paper is covered in black ink marks but still barely legible.

            "Do you guys think you can scrounge up food so that we can eat in the Library?"  Jillian asks.

            "Is my name Sirius Black?" Sirius asks.

            "Unless you're an undercover agent from Russia then, yes." Dru replies sarcastically. He sticks his tongue out and faces the rest of us.

            As we walk down the stairs James' younger brother Jess runs over "James tell me what happened! The older kids are talking about it and I wanna know!" he whined. James looked down at his shortest brother.

            "Can't," he stated. Jess is upset; he's only in his fourth year. That's old enough to rely on an older sibling, but old enough to need to know what's going on in the world around him.

            "Why?"

            I look up a tiny bit at the 5" 6' Potter, "Jess, we can't tell you right now, just because we're still unsure of what happened." James gives me a look that says: _we shouldn't get his hopes up_. 

            He storms off angrily. I close my eyes and declare: "I'm going to bed."

            "You've been asleep for two hours." Sirius whines. James gives him a look that demands silence. I thank James and retire to my room. The window's open, our cat; Sunday must have pawed it open.

            The cool air attacks me from all angles, I jump back, this isn't natural. I squint into the distance and see a green shape. "Oh my God" I can feel my heart race. I stumble down the steps. They look up at me. "There was an attack."

            I see Remus' gray eyes grow, as he wraps his arm protectively around Jill, Sirius jumps up I think he's trying to act macho, and James asks: "Are you all right?" 

            My jaw falls open, "I wasn't the one who was attacked! There are people in Hogsmede who are suffering. We have to help them."

            "Lily, calm down. Christ I've never seen you this way! Sit and take some deep breaths." Dru demands. I reluctantly sit down in between James and Sirius.

            "We can't do anything to help them," James' hand grazes my back sending a tingling sensation through my spine. "All we can do is wait." His voice is something that calms me down.

            "We have to though, peoples parents are in trouble!" I declare. He puts his arm around my shoulder and murmurs:

            "Meet me here at midnight." I look into his hazel eyes and nod. The clock above the entrance reads nine fifty. I have two hours to occupy myself somehow. I can tell Selena is shooting me a questioning look.

            I pull back, "I need to change into my pajamas." Dru states standing up, Jill, Selena and I follow suit.

            "What is it with you girls and doing things in groups?" Peter shouts after us. All of us giggle and get to the room.

            "What the hell was that?" Selena asks as soon as the door is shut.

            "What was what?" I ask

            "That thing down in the common room. You, and James. If he pulled that at the beginning of the year he would be in a puddle of blood on the floor." She laughed.

            "He did try, and he isn't dead." I tell her. "He's just trying to be a good friend." I explain pulling my tee shirt over my head, and then I pull a pair of my older cousin's boxers over my underwear.

            "If you say so, but the two of you looked pretty happy in that position." Jill declared from the bathroom. 

            "I don't need to take this I'm going to bed!" I joke. "Actually" I add; "I probably would've slept better down there, because he's a lot more warm than these blankets."

            "Stop talking about James Potter like that ok?" Dru shouts.

            I look at the clock ten ten. _Crap this is going to be a long night_, I think. The black ball of fuzz we call Sunday jumps on my bed. "Hey baby, are you tired?" I coo at the cat for a bit. It stares at me with enormous eyes.

            "Lily go to bed!" I get a pillow in the face from Selena at ten till midnight. The door creaks open two minutes after that, James' head is floating in thin air. I quickly throw on a pair of flannel pants and get out of the room.

            The hallway is empty; "James Harry Potter if you don't come out this instant I'm leaving, and I'm never speaking to you again." His face appears again.

            "Come on, there's something I want to show you." He looks like a child at Christmas. Quickly I walk over to him, "You're going to have to stand close to me, we'll move faster."

            "James this is an invisibility cloak." I breathe. I move closer to him. "How did you get one of these?"

            "Family heirloom," He tells me as we walk out to the hallway.

            "Where are we going?" I ask.

            "Somewhere." He pulls a piece of parchment out and taps it with his wand, "good, it's clear."

            "What?"

            "You have a lot of questions, just have faith that I won't get us caught" I remain silent until we get to the humpbacked witch.

            "Why are we here?" I ask, he tells me to be quiet; I smack him on the shoulder. The humped witch jumps to the side. I gasp, he pushes me into the little gap. He comes too.

            "You can talk now." He whispers. I jump, he laughs. "I guess you want to know where we're going." I give him a look that says _that's obvious._ "Well seeing as you wanted to help those people, I figured that you should see them."

            "How is going through this tunnel going to help?" I whisper.

            "We're going to Hogsmede."

            "This tunnel leads to Hogsmede?" I ask this _can't be possible_.

"Yep, to Honeydukes actually."

            Not long after he says this we end up in the basement of the candy shop. The room is dark; I feel a giant hand that could easily be mistaken for a badminton racket grasp mine. His hand is cold and rough. _Oh Gods not the cheeks_, I think for I feel my face gaining blood.

            Then we escape the darkness, to find the streets. The very cold streets of the little village. I can feel his arm wrap around my shoulders, and I know he has his wand out. I look around, there are people everywhere feeling the same thing sadness.

            "James, we shouldn't have come here. These people they're terrified, a lot have lost children and" I'm cut off by a woman sobbing.

            "Have you seen my daughter? She's about this tall (she makes a gesture) with brown eyes and brown hair." She begins to cry again.

            I look up into James' hazel eyes, full of concern as they stare into mine. We mutually agree to help anyone who asks for it. Seeing as it's a school night though we had better get back around three.

            By three we had helped at least twenty people find their loved ones. I nearly forgot the cold, and then when we began our journey back I could feel the chill hit me like a thousand knives.

            "We're in deep crap if we're caught." I mutter as I climb into the tunnel.

            "We won't" he reassures me in a lazy voice. We take another way back to the castle, as soon as we arrive at the exit he stares at the map and curses. "Filch is on the prowl by the tower."

            "We're screwed!" I hit my head on the cold brick. I look at him, there's a glint in his eyes.

            "Not quite, at least you aren't." I can tell there's a plan going through his head. "All right, we're gonna get out of here. I'll go the opposite way of the tower, when you hear me singing; go towards the tower, when Filch goes by you run back." He directs.

            I nod and he takes off. I'm hidden under his cloak waiting to hear his voice. I hear it; "White riot, I want a riot. White riot, a riot of my own." He's yelling it at the top of his lungs. I see Filch run by, and then run.

            I hold the cloak so I don't lose it. I arrive at the tower and say the password. The Fat Lady swings open. I wait until James comes in. He has a pink slip of paper in his hand. "I'm sorry you got a detention." I tell him.

            "It wouldn't be a week without me getting one Lily, you know that." I look him in the eye, "by the way, why aren't you in bed?"

            "I had to wait up, I'm just that kind of person you know?"  I shrug.

            "Well Lily, it's late, we should get to bed." He concludes. I'm amazed that his responsible side is peeking out. "So, goodnight." He leans down and kisses my cheek. I blush.

            "Yeah, goodnight." I reply, we go our separate ways. _Oh gods he kissed me! Yes! We still have a chance brain._ I do a victory dance up to the dorm and realize that I'm not tired, I decide to break out my journal, I write in it about once or twice a year. 

            My journal is pink, unfortunately, and decorated with black flowers. I have entries that date as far back as age six. I open to a blank page and begin to write.

A/N: the end of this chapter, two updates in a close range. That's pretty good for me, but schools back in tomorrow (Jan. 4, 2004) so updates will slow down again. Reviews are always welcome

J.E.A.R Potter: Honestly who would stand in the middle of their relationship, thanx for the review


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